MARYLAND WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER | MONDAY MEMO | NO NEWSFEED, NO PROBLEMS!

MARYLAND WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER | MONDAY MEMO | NO NEWSFEED, NO PROBLEMS!

Life can be heavy sometimes. Am I right? No matter what you’re up against, your battle can feel suffocating. It’s consistent, messy, unique, but there is one thing that it isn’t.

It isn’t defeat.

We as humans are pretty damn resilient. That whole “falling and getting back up” thing wouldn’t be a thing if there wasn’t something actually to it. We’re always shifting, adapting, and craving more for ourselves. As human as it is, these changes come with growing pains too.

I’m an outgoing gal. I gather that it’s hard to believe someone as extroverted as myself could be overwhelmed or socially overstimulated during peak wedding and workshop season. Summer time is full of fantastic events that take my breath away and leave me feeling so inspired, but those highs can follow with lows.

At the end of last month, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I allowed social media to crush my soul, to consume my time, and to make me insecure. The worst part about these platforms is that we can build a case against ourselves without anyone else’s help. Whether it’s jealousy of what someone else has or feeling shaded by a peer without real support for that, we are often talking ourselves into looking too far into something that will ultimately distract us from being our best inner lady boss.

I took it upon myself to take drastic measures, and treat it as a science project. With 3k friends on Facebook, I wondered how easy it would be to walk away without notice. I needed to maintain my business forums and I didn’t want to cut off the entire world.

How I did it:

  1. I activated a ghost account with a alternative email, and with my main account-I made myself an administrator for all of my fan pages and favorite groups. I deactivated the account I’ve had since college, and I managed everything from a page with zero friends.
  2. It’s important to divulge that I remained active within my AKP Retreat Veteran and Shutter Socialite groups. These are positive forums that only provided good when seen.
  3. I shifted my focus to scheduling posts on Facebook so I could be more unplugged from there specifically. My engagement on my IG stories increased and I’ve had more time to blog and submit images from this year! #nonewsfeednoproblems
  4. My goal was to do this for a week and see where it led me. For the first five days, I saw a friend in person for at least 30 minutes or longer. My ACTUAL engagement with LIFE skyrocketed. My online highlight reel no longer felt curated, because I was actually out there doing all of those things. That felt good, and left me feeling good.
  5. Not as many people will notice as you think! Out of nearly 3,300 friends on Facebook, under 10 reached out to me. Yes, some of them thought they got deleted. Yes, some of them thought they got blocked. BUT, they reached out. I was quickly able to explain everything because I was mentally prepared for those concerns. However, this was truly minimal.

The biggest lesson that I learned was that we walk on eggshells entirely too much at our own inconvenience. If you find yourself doing that on social media, if it isn’t FUN ANYMORE, then take a step back. This doesn’t mean shutting down your business resources. This doesn’t mean you have to disappear. Remember that YOU control your narrative. Should you find that you feel you are losing grasp of that-take a step back.

Final piece of advice…

…I promise! The moral of this story isn’t “delete Facebook.” I honestly love Facebook the most of all my online outlets, but it was the right thing for me when I needed it. There is nothing wrong with looking at your life and figuring out where it is that you get stumped or burnt out or anxious or distracted. There is NOTHING wrong with asking for help or outsourcing. The control is yours for the keeping. Make sure you’re keeping your head in the game.

REMEMBER: The best you serves others best.

-Ash

PHOTOGRAPHY | ASHTON KELLEY PHOTOGRAPHY

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  1. Kait

    September 18th, 2017 at 12:47 pm

    LOVE this! I try to think about it as caring for myself so I can better care for other people 💓

  2. ash10k

    September 18th, 2017 at 12:56 pm

    Yes. I truly feel like a much happier me when I know I can give people my best. <3

  3. Amanda

    September 18th, 2017 at 1:10 pm

    Distance is sometimes the best medicine. I’m so glad you’ve found your social media balance. Here’s hoping we all do!

  4. Sheena

    September 18th, 2017 at 1:30 pm

    Thanks for writing this Ashton! I really think I need to do this for a while. We get so caught up in social media that we forget to have face-to-face interaction. Very interesting!!

  5. Heather

    September 18th, 2017 at 2:04 pm

    Ghost account is genius. I can’t tell yodon’t how many times I hop of fb to post something for work and 20 minutes later hop off only to realize I spent the whole time scrolling and never did my work related post. 😬

  6. Lindsay

    September 18th, 2017 at 3:27 pm

    I’m so proud of you for doing this! It’s so liberating!

  7. Shawndelle

    September 18th, 2017 at 4:53 pm

    What a great article. I love the images

  8. Tricia

    September 18th, 2017 at 4:54 pm

    Social media breaks are great for the soul! I am happy you are back!

  9. Megan

    September 18th, 2017 at 5:13 pm

    Love this idea! I can’t wait to do it myself :)

  10. Jen

    September 20th, 2017 at 11:05 am

    There is so much I want to say on this blog and subject!!! I agree 100%!!! Honestly if I didn’t have a business at all I would delete every single social media account I have!! I did the same with the dummy account for my business but my website and other stuff is linked up to my fb and I need to change all of that. Kudos gf!!!!