THE FILLMORE | JUSTIN AND MARY PRESENT – THE EVENT | PHOTOGRAPHY CONFERENCE

My phone buzzed around 7:oo AM. “Here,” it said. I walked out of our Baltimore rowhome to find Alicia and Brittney waiting in the car. I do a quick little is-this-ok-to-wear dance, they nod, and I get in the car. We immediately begin excited chatter, and about an hour later we find ourselves parked in Silver Spring. As we exit the car and begin the three block walk to The Fillmore, the air is brisk. I stop to notice that this feels like the first REAL day of Winter. I see my breath, my ears tingle from the cool wind, and I suddenly wish I had grabbed gloves. It’s no matter, we are on our way at this point and the walking has helped warm us up.

We approach the theater, which stands out as there is a crowd forming at the door. Eager faces are lined up, smiling and ready to see what’s inside. I immediately connect with a few gal pals, and we share hugs as we await entry. Our tickets get checked, we walk in, and all the speakers are lined up around me and then suddenly-they cheer! This warm welcome is amplified as Natalie Franke grabs my arm, and we share the quickest exchange of smiles. We are ushered off to find seats, where we are further able to mingle. There is lots of buzz in the air, and the tone has been set.. It was going to be a day full of love, sharing, and inspiration. If you know me.. you know this is right up my alley, and in this case-just what I didn’t know I needed.

You see, I had heard about “The Event” when it was released. I’ve met, and had the pleasure of mentoring with, most of the guest speakers. These are all women I admire, who have shaped my business model, encouraged me, and who offered me knowledge in so many different situations. So, when I heard about this conference, I made the excuse that I had learned likely all I was going to from these people. I had convinced myself that I no longer needed to attend these events. After all, I’ve spent a year creating my own workshop experience. Weeks of tickets on sale passed by, and I found myself on NYE with a group of creatives that encouraged me to purchase a friend’s ticket as he was no longer able to attend. I did so a little reluctantly, but I am so glad that I did.

This was a hard year. It was a year of sacrificing time with my family, spending more hours on the road than home, working into the wee hours of the night on editing and blogs, and saying “yes” far too often. Luckily for me, this was an overlapping theme in the day’s line-up. Justin and Mary, Natalie Franke, and Abby Grace spoke so near to my heart. I found myself digging out tissues in the middle of their lectures and sharing in some ugly cries with the lovely women I sat with. As tears fell, my eyes opened, and I left feeling a huge weight on my heart. I left knowing that it was time for a change and that it was time to get to work on not just those, but myself.

“The problem with more is that it’s never enough.” – Mary Marantz, Justin and Mary

I am guilty of chasing the idea of more, saying yes to the wrong opportunities, and climbing a ladder of success with no end in sight. I’m guilty of being too hard of myself, stealing my own joy with comparison to where I want to be, and not prioritizing my own milestones to capture someone elses’. I want the photos that I leave behind to mean something, but I also want to be sure to leave behind a piece of myself for my own grandchildren and theirs. Every day is an opportunity to change, and I feel a huge one coming! This is my legacy, and I need to protect it.

“Don’t be afraid to own what makes you different!” – Jen Olmstead, Tonic Site Shop

So here’s the thing.. and if you’re still reading along, bless you, I know this has been lengthy.. We creatives tend to over-analyze everything. We base our own successes on what other people think. We gauge our worth on how great those people think we are, who we’re friends with, or the types of things you share online. We put too much weight on being accepted and acknowledged, and not enough faith in our own selves that we can accomplish all of those very same things that we see someone else doing. Even better, we have the power to do new things… GREAT things! Yet, we often hold ourselves back and waste time obsessing over someone’s gorgeous Instagram feed, their sold out workshop, or the beautiful weddings they are booking. What would happen if we did less of that and focused more on our clients? More on our art? More on our SOULS?

My takeaway?

You are awesome. You are talented. You are worth it. YOU MATTER! “You are doing just fine.”

So, stop.

Stop looking in the mirror and thinking about what others see. What do you REALLY see? Don’t forget to be a person that you can be proud of, or forget your intentions in the process of chasing other people’s approval. Be authentic and celebrate your differences. If not, you could lose yourself in that process and that would be the biggest tragedy of all because YOU are enough. I am enough. Everything else? The victories, the conferences, the clients, the supportive industry friends I made yesterday… Well, those are just a bonus. :)

– Ash

A BIG thank you to Justin and Mary for organizing an amazing team of speakers who left us all full of emotion and feeling empowered to make changes in our business. I am so glad I ended up attending, and no doubt in my mind that it was just what I needed to kick start the new year.

(AND to The Burlap Booth for this photo!)